What should i do??? i like him to much?

there's this guy name kris(fake name) and his friend is josh(fake name)see the thing is i dated both of them and i really really liked josh but the thing is i screwed up BIG TIME now eaigher of them wont talk to me but i know why i kinda cheeted on both of them but not with each other that would be my crunnt bf now drake and i did it twice i feel horrable and i know this makes me seem like a bad person but i try sayin sorry every day and i think im in love with josh but then again im inlove with drake please help me and dont say any thing mean i cry myself to sleep over this every night